Best Search: What If Obama Wins the House, Senate?

Angry Tea Party Obama Wins
All democrats look alike when you’re angry like Bluto and the Tea Party.

Yup. It’s official: most die-hard Fox News-loving, fact-fabricating, self-identified Tea Party members cannot separate Obama from democrats or the Democratic Party. In their paranoid minds they are one and the same. All democrats look alike, I guess.

And so this day we give their absurdity another nod by awarding a Tea Party visitor to POLITUSIC a Best today for their search, “what will happen if Obama wins the house and senate“.

To answer your question directly: if Obama won the House and Senate it would be an extraordinary thing. He would literally be two of the three branches of American government, which is, you know, quite impressive.

President / Senator / Congressman Obama would also be very tired because Congress would finally stop acting like tantrum-throwing three-year olds, which means he could start getting things done again. Bill passing and judicial approvals would be a breeze. Obama would be a busy man.

Obama would also lose a lot of weight, because I’m fairly certain he’s not allowed to fulfill many the obligations of each offices without physically being there. At least he could walk his own bills from the White House to the Hopper, though. That might save a little time.

To the paranoid and terribly-educated Tea Party: while you are sometimes very entertaining, you are getting less and less intelligent as time goes by. It’s not because you’re dumb, you’re just blinded by hate, and that has to stop. If you continue to be this dumb and blinded by your laser focus on all things anti-Obama, then you might end up getting committed. I’m being serious. People get committed to mental institutions all the time for extreme paranoia and for believing in an alternate reality, which is the current mental state of most of the Obama-bashing wackos in the Tea Party. I understand that for some your very existence is defined by “hate Obama”, but y’all need to get a hobby. Hate is no fun. You’re blood pressure must be off the charts.

Of course, we know what you meant was, “What happens if democrats win the House and Senate?” The Obama-hate just makes things blurry. I understand. Bluto was like that in the original Popeye movie; when he got really angry he sees everyone in red, looking the same. Overwhelmed by his anger because Olive ditched him. Every parent and grandparent in the history of history has told their children and grandchildren that anger is a bad place to be. Anger makes you say stupid things. Anger makes to do stupid things. And yet there y’all are making yourself angry every day and wondering why the rest of the country calls you crazy: because you’re doing stupid things in anger. Where’s your mother? Someone needs to slap some sense into you.

Back to the topic at hand: What happens if democrats with the House and Senate? Well, in Republicanland that means the sky will drip with fire and black helicopters will land in your front yard and kidnap your children. In the real world, that won’t happen. Democrats will be lucky to hang onto the Senate, and the way things have gone since late 2013 with botched websites and Obama not being able to get anything done… Congress is likely safe in Republican hands for another couple election cycles.

If, however, democrats won the House and Senate, do you know what would happen? SOMETHING. The exact opposite of what republicans are doing. The world wouldn’t end, but I’m sure there’d be another run on guns and ammunition because all y’all are so damn paranoid at this point that Obama is one of the four horsemen. Get over it Tea Party. The world changes and if you don’t change with it, you’re going to continue to be very angry and very lonely.

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Category:  Politics, The Best
Published: by POLITUSIC | Updated: 07-25-2014 07:31:02
 
 

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